And then there were 3

When I got the call on Monday I was brushing my teeth, so I had to run to the phone and J had picked up the call and got the conversation. On Tuesday I was a bit more prepared and still got the call when I was in the shower, but since I had my phone just outside, dried my hands and picked up the phone myself. Today I refused to brush my teeth or shower until I got the call LOL. I waited and waited and waited. Gave up, gave the phone to J and went to get ready. Finished getting ready and came back to J to complain they had not called today, and then I got the call.

"Three are still dividing". With happiness that we still had something, and scared that we had lost one more, I asked the embryologist what were the chances of some making it until Friday. I heard "It's a slim chance, you should have something to transfer on Friday". Say what? Slim or not? I asked him to repeat again and he said "yes, you should be able to have the transfer on Friday, see you then". I hung the phone and asked J "did you hear the call?", and he said yes, so I asked him if I had heard right. He said the second part, that we should be able to get something on Friday. He also said the embryologist never said anything about a slim chance.... Did I go crazy? was my brain so set on bad news? Did he said "good chance" and I mistranslated in my head? It doesn't matter now, but weird nonetheless.

So this how my 3 babies could be looking right now, having 8 to 10 cells and starting to compact:

We don't get any updates tomorrow as they don't like bothering them on day 4, but if we are lucky, this is how they would be looking tomorrow:

I have been thinking off and on about the reasons we are loosing them, about what would happen if it doesn't work, if I would go through this again. I try to stop me though, and J tries to stop me. It's hard but I do need to concentrate as much as possible on one day at a time. Today I try to work and get rest, tomorrow I repeat. Friday I am debating taking the morning off or taking the whole day. Good or bad news, I might not want to be at the office. We'll see, for now, we just wait one more day and pray for those 3 little embryos.