Wednesday, 1 April 2015

Two week wait... again

And here we are, in the 2 week wait again. Thinking of every little thing going on in my body, obsessing, reading about it, worrying about it. This wait has been a lot better than the previous cycles, I think I'm a bit more relaxed and feel more deeply that there is nothing I can do to change the outcome at this point. I know I'm not even half way through it (but more than a third!!) but last time I was obsessing since day 1.

Today is day 5, which can be read 5dp5dt in the forums. 5 days past 5 day transfer. Instead of thinking that I have to wait week and a half to know if it works, I'm concentrated on making it until this Thursday that I have acupuncture and Friday that I have an ultrasound.

Even like that the wait it's not easy. If I'm not completely engrossed on whatever I'm doing, I'm thinking about it. For example all these days I have been keeping an eye on my OHSS, but today I woke up feeling much better. So I have pretty much spent all day reading about the possibility of OHSS getting better but still being pregnant. Obsessive.

If I'm home I can distract myself, but the car and the office are the worse. In the car I feel the temptation of talking with J about it. At work I don't actually do work and browse all day for answers, write and read in forums, and in general feel annoyed that I can't be home. J keeps insisting that I take days off, but this is just starting!! I know that's it's silly that I don't take days off work and still don't work in the office, but at least I'm here. I can be available and I do try every so often, it's just hard.
Julia Wertz
I have seen lots of ideas to make it go faster, but what to do when you are stuck in the office and don't want to work? I should remove my Internet xD Maybe that will make me concentrate on work :)

The infinite wait continues.