Friday, 17 April 2015

Would you tell someone you were infertile?

Today I found this really good article called Would you tell someone you were infertile?

The thing I liked the most about it is that people seem to talk more about the subject when they have overcome infertility one way or another. We don't hear about celebrities struggling with infertility, we hear about them having kids with surrogates, donor eggs, or adopting. And that's if we hear about it at all.

Where are the non success stories? As me, there are so many women struggling with infertility and with no happy ending yet. We hide in forums, and in some blogs. We might tell some close friends and family, but that's it. You don't hear about us in the news struggling to get the money for one more treatment, or about the suffering that we endure. You rarely hear about infertility classified as a medical condition with suffering equivalent to cancer, but it is there, it is real.

I am not asking that news should report about it, but it's not in TV, or movies. It is not talked about.

I do not have cable at home, but this week I stayed at a hotel for 2 nights and tried to watch TLC. The 2 main TV shows the whole time I was able to watch TV? "19 kids and counting" and "I didn't know I was pregnant". Basically everyone can have kids with only thinking about it? Where are shows like "Infertile and struggling" or "Fighting against time: An infertile journey", or my favourite name I read in a forum "Womb warriors".

Where do we fit in a society that expects you to be able to get pregnant just because you are a woman, and expects you to be a dad just because you are married?. Mother's day, father's day, church family events oriented to kids, company "bring your kids!" events. We sit on the sidelines watching and mourning. We mourn every month, we mourn every lost, we mourn every time we see a baby or a pregnant woman. We suffer in silence and wish people at the work event would just stop talking about their kids, or to please stop sending email after email about the surprise baby shower for X just because I am a woman. Stop. Being a mother is a wonderful thing, I know it, I am a mother at heart, but please stop alienating me and reminding me so much.