Friday, 19 December 2014
Letter to my miracle
I have been searching for you for an eternity. I have dreamt about you and hold you in my dreaming arms. I have loved you ever since I first thought of you.
I just haven't met you.
I wait for you and try for you. I search and cry and hope. I pray and scream and doubt.
I think of you all the time.
I might have doubts, but I have faith in God. I might ask why, but I pray again for you. I might feel empty, but I'm not alone. I might worry about money, but all of it will be worth it and more.
I will see you some day.
I am not alone. Your dad is here with me, waiting for you, for us. He prays for you, and hopes for you. He is here for me while we wait so I don't feel alone. He has the biggest heart and the biggest love.
He will hold you with the most tender love.
I am not alone. God is holding our hands even though we don't see Him. He listens to my doubts and my cries. He dries my tears with your dad's hands. He understands and smiles. He knows I am fine and will be fine. He knows my pain and knows it will end. I can feel Him there, planning for you, helping us walk towards you.
He will bring you to us.
I am not alone. Your family is here waiting for you. They are impatient to meet you, and ask for you. They hug us and embrace us, and make us feel better. They lets us know they are here for us and it's not a one person journey. You are shaping their life too. You are making them see the world in different colours. You have touched their hears already, just imagine once you are here!
They will adore you.
You are loved, prayed for, hoped for, searched for. Someday we will meet you and you will know the biggest love anyone has known. Because I am not alone, and you will never be alone. I don't know when I will meet you, or if I will get to carry you.
All I know is that we love you and wait for you.